Stephanie Hwang

Definitely not all coach - clients relationships are a success. I have experienced a handful of cases where coaching has been ineffective and the client opts to stop, typically within 5 sessions (it seems to be a breaking point).

Some cases I have experienced :

J, came to me because his parter wanted him to. 3 sessions in, they broke up and he wasn't sure what outcome he wanted from coaching. He stopped coaching after 5 sessions.

I've also worked with a couple students whose parents wanted them to do coaching, but they themselves had little interest. Typically we don't go over 5 sessions, and we don't see much progress because the client has a resistance and is not willing to be coached. No one can really make ND people do things.

S, was referred to me by her workplace. She had all the qualities of a client that makes good progress with me, but after 5 sessions she realized now was not a good time for her to be coached. She was going through a funk and struggling with sleep, and it was difficult for her to find the energy and motivation to execute the solutions we came to within her life. She opted to revisit coaching at a later time.

This is the question that I get asked most frequently.

It really depends on where the client is currently at, what their capacity to make progress is, what their goals are, and what kind of chemistry the client and I have. There is no clear one-size-fits-all answer to this question (sorry!) but I will try to capture the nuances.

👉 For group coaching,

[my recommendation is starting with group coaching and bolstering it with a couple 1:1 sessions, if needed]

The progress is often made much quicker with group coaching (12 sessions) (I will cover why - in the question about group vs 1:1). Sometimes clients find that the group container is enough for now. Some clients will complement it with anywhere from 1-5 sessions to work on more in depth, customized topics.

👉 For 1:1 coaching,

After having experimented with subscription and package models heres what I've seen.

There is a whole range. I've had clients who have done 2-3 sessions a month with me for an entire year without any pauses in between. I've had some clients who have done 5 sessions with me and stopped. The pattern I see most often will be that clients will work with me for an initial 10-12 ish sessions, take a break and come back later when they have a life change (searching for job, starting a business) and something active to work on.

As a guideline, I think 12 sessions is a good amount of time for us to spend so you can gain momentum in developing new neural pathways (new ways of thinking and doing things).

👉 The ultimate goal of our coaching would be that you learn how to replicate the coaching for yourself, and continue coaching yourself with the tools and mindset shifts you learn. Not that within a couple months we will transform your life and achieve all your goals. Building a neurodivergent friendly life is an ongoing practice and a lifestyle and my goal would be to equip you with the tools so you can continue to carry on this work without me.

In summary, coaching is often goal-oriented and future-focused, while therapy addresses deeper emotional challenges and is rooted in healing and mental health management.

There is an intersection between therapy and ADHD & neurodivergence coaching because they are both mental health related.

Coaching : Focuses on supporting clients achieve specific personal and professional goals. Focus is on growth, achievement, setting actionable goals. Future-focused, practical and solutions oriented. Coaches may use techniques like goal setting, accountability, and motivation. The relationship is typically more collaborative and casual with the coach acting as a guide or facilitator. Coaching has traditionally served marginalized people that slip through the cracks of the medical model.

Therapy : Primarily addresses emotional, psychological, or mental health issues. Therapists help clients work through past trauma, anxiety, depression, relationship issues, or other mental health concerns. Focused on exploring past experiences. Therapy focuses on healing, managing symptoms, and improving overall mental well-being.

Both coaching and therapy can be valuable depending on a person's needs at a given time. Most of my clients have received therapy for a long time and balance coaching with on-going therapy. Some put therapy on pause to do coaching.

Progress and changes happen when the client is receptive to being coached.

Often, by the time clients get to coaching they have tried so many solutions and they are (understandably) skeptical. Sometimes we are resistant to being coached because we believe deep down it's not going to work - even though we hired the coach. I know - its ironic. Its often the case it takes a couple sessions for the client to open up to new possibilities (that coaching can work) and trust the process.

I also see that clients who have a keen interest, who explore and learn outside of sessions (whether it be through books, social media, conversations with other people) tend to make changes more quickly.

Having the bandwidth and capacity to execute the actionable solutions we come up with, is another factor.

Clients that make bigs strides often have spent extensive time in therapy, explored various modalities of healing and have a deep understanding and awareness of themselves.

Clients who are ready and willing to make changes.

Clients who believe in themselves and their capacity to make change and stick with coaching instead of "giving up" early in the game.

• Focus — on yourself, the tough questions you need to ask yourself, the hard truths you need to accept and the successful outcomes you desire to achieve
  

• Observation — of the world around you and the behavior and communication of others
  

• Listening — to your intuition, assumptions, judgments, and to how you sound when you speak
  

• Self discipline — to challenge existing attitudes, beliefs and behaviors and to develop new ones which better serve yourself, your values and your goals
  

• Attitude — leveraging personal strengths and overcoming limitations in order to develop a winning positive attitude
  

• Decisive action — however uncomfortable, and in spite of personal insecurities, in order to reach for the extraordinary
  

• Compassion — for yourself as you experiment with new behaviors and sometimes experience setbacks as well as for others as they do the same
  

• Humor — committing to not take yourself too seriously and allowing the injection of humor to lighten and brighten any situation
  

• Pause — allowing yourself to pause to avoid overly-emotional reactions
  

• Courage — to reach for more than you have before, to shift out of your comfort zone, to engage in continual self examination, to take on internal and external obstacles and challenges
  

Coaching can help ADDers with almost all areas of their lives. Some examples are :

• Organization / executive functioning: establishing daily routines & healthy habits, time management, developing a planning system that works for you, getting ‘boring’ chores done, prioritizing, dealing with distractions / procrastination, organizing and cleaning the house

• Work : improving relationships with colleagues, talking about neurodivergence at work / identifying & asking for reasonable adjustments, coping with challenges in meeting deadlines, project management, dealing with demanding workloads, considering career options, identifying strengths, skills & talents, interview practice, delegation, and coping with stress.

• Studying : managing school schedule, setting routines, identifying how you learn best, asking for accommodations, and considering future career options.

• Emotional regulation: improving self-esteem, coping with Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, emotional ‘flooding’ / mood swings, co-dependency, people pleasing, loneliness, boundaries, maintaining healthy relationships with people, engaging with people who do / do not have neurodivergences.

• Physical health: relaxation, planning "fun" time, sleep, observing the effects of medication, eating habits, implementing healthy habits such as regular exercise and cooking meals.

And almost anything else you would like to work on =)

Some people describe executive function as “the management system of the brain.” That’s because the skills involved let us set goals, plan, and get things done. When people struggle with executive function, it impacts them at home, in school, and in life.

There are three main areas of executive function. They are:

1. Working memory

2. Cognitive flexibility (also called flexible thinking)

3. Inhibitory control (which includes self-control)

Executive function is responsible for many skills, including:

• Paying attention

• Organizing, planning, and prioritizing

• Starting tasks and staying focused on them to completion

• Understanding different points of view

• Regulating emotions

• Self-monitoring (keeping track of what you’re doing)

Taken from understood.org

read more

It is important to find a coach that you vibe with. The process of searching for the right coach can often be tough - and its not exactly ND friendly. I often advise clients to trust their intuition and gut feeling. To trust that the coach they are drawn to, they are drawn for a good reasons (similar threads in life, similar values, similar way of viewing neurodivergence, shared identities etc)

Finding a coach that is the "right fit" means that you are on the same page and can work together effectively to create outcomes in your life.

I believe there is a coach for everyone out there.

It is also important to find a coach that has the skills, tools and/or personal experience and understanding to help you.

Neurodivergence / ADHD coaches do not need to be certified to practice. There are some brilliant coaches who do not have training or certification. However, training and certification can be an easy way to ensure that a coach meets a certain standard.

Looking for a ADHD coach can be a daunting process, especially with the executive functioning difficulties we have. (Its tough - I know) A good place to start is the ACO (ADHD Coaches Organization) Directory. Instagram is another one (can see what the coach is like through posts). Make sure to meet a couple different coaches to find a coach that you have chemistry with and has the skillset to support you and your specific needs.

If we have a consultation call and I feel that another coach would be better suited to your needs I can provide referrals.

You can expect me to strive to create a safe space for both you and me, so that we can explore the intersection of your neurodivergences and your identities.

You can also expect me to help you create structures, support, skills and strategies so you can have a fuller and satisfying life. You can count on me to support you in gaining a better understanding of yourself with an neurodivergence lens, and reframe your current narrative to a more empowering one.

I strive to be a support and a tree to lean on as we explore your neurodivergence and as you create changes in your life. I am deeply committed to supporting you in reaching your goals, providing accountability outside of sessions via text messages and body doubling sessions.

I am sharing the agreements for my group coaching so you can get an idea of what kind of container to expect.

- HSA : you might be able to receive reimbursements through your HSA

- Workplace : many folks that work with me receive professional development funds / accommodations through work

- Pausing therapy : some folks that work with me opt to put a pause on therapy while we do coaching. (there are definitely some overlaps between coaching and therapy and some may not have the bandwidth / capacity / spoons to juggle both at the same time)

- Loved ones : for some folks, someone that loves them and believes in them pays for coaching. (family, romantic parter etc)

- Payment plans : Sometimes the folks that need support the most don't have access to the support. I provide extended payment plans and occasionally scholarships for people who are the right fit to work with me.